Coping with loss, navigating grief and healing as a young person

Losing a loved one isn’t easy. Here’s how I coped in the healthiest way I could.

Life can sometimes throw us curveballs, and one of the toughest ones is coping with loss, kan? You know, that kind of loss that leaves a hole in your heart and makes you feel like everything’s turned huru-hara? Yeah, that’s the stuff. Whether it’s someone we really love, a buddy, a pet, or even a big change, handling it all can feel like a real rollercoaster. When I lost a parent it felt like a stab in the heart too. But guess what? You’re not alone, and there are ways to make this journey a bit smoother. Let’s get into some ways to cope with loss and start healing as a young person.


1. Understanding Your Emotions

First things first, it’s completely okay to feel a mix of emotions and it’s a normal thing that happens. From being in denial to feeling angry, sad, or even lost – these are all part of the process. I know I, for one, was a wreck for weeks and not able to fully grasp what I was feeling. And guess what? There’s no right or wrong way to feel. It’s unique for each of us, and that’s totally fine. Take the time to understand those emotions, no matter how nauseating they might feel. Remember, you’re so worth it.


2. Leaning on a Creative Outlet

You know that feeling when words just don’t cut it? That’s when getting creative can help. I know for sure that that’s what helped me so I’m passing on the wisdom, gitew. Whether it’s painting, writing, playing music, or whatever else that floats your boat, it’s like giving those big emotions a safe space to exist. You might be surprised at how much it helps to express your emotions creatively and how cathartic it is. Coping with loss doesn’t have to look like you just rolled up into a ball crying.

3. Keeping a Routine

One other thing I learned is when everything around you feels like it’s falling apart, routines can be a lifeline. Sure, it might be tough to stick to them when life feels like neraka, but even small things like eating regular meals, getting some exercise, and catching enough Zs can make a huge difference. I took the opportunity to get my fitness routine in check, which may have seemed counterintuitive but it helped a lot to get rid of stagnant energy and let me feel unstuck.

4. Taking Care of Yourself

I used to think self-care was just a buzzword, but doing things you enjoy, practicing mindfulness, and making sure you’re rested – these are all acts of self-love that can help you through the tough times and heal after experiencing loss in your adolescence. Grief doesn’t go away but taking care of yourself will help you heal and keep you healthy, which should be the biggest priority in your life right now. Also, coping with loss healthily is a tool you can take throughout the rest of your life so you are better equipped to handle all of life’s ups and downs.


5. Coping with Loss by Learning About Grief

Understanding the process of grief can make it a bit less confusing. There are books and resources out there that speak our language. There’s this book about loss in a modern world that offers candid conversations surrounding grief and essays sent in by all kinds of people. There’s also this graphic novel by a daughter about the death of her beloved mother that is humourous, sad, and poignant all at the same time. When you realise that what you’re feeling is valid and others have been there too, it’s like a weight off your shoulders. Ingat, you’re not alone in this.

6. Honouring Life

Losing someone or something is tough, but remembering and celebrating the good times shared can be healing. Creating a slideshow, making a scrapbook, or writing letters – these are all ways to keep the memories alive positively and healthily. What comforted me was remembering that nothing is permanent, whether it’s the life we’ve been given or the feelings I’m feeling in the moment. That made me want to treasure the life I live even more, along with the people inside it who love me and show up for me; especially in trying times.


Hey, I know it’s not easy to lose someone this young, but coping with loss is a journey worth taking. By understanding your emotions, expressing yourself creatively, sticking to routines, taking care of yourself, learning about grief, and finding ways to celebrate the good times, we can get through this. Remember, it’s okay to take your time, be patient with yourself, and reach out when you need a hand. We’ve got this. Hang in there buddy, you’ll get stronger each day. It won’t always be pretty but it will definitely get less ugly.

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Bumble Bee

I am a Klang Valley-residing 20-something aiming to resonate with other fellow youth on matters like children's rights, mental health, and other things that keep me fuelled!
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